I can’t understand how terminologies for “gayness” have become so muddled up.

I for myself am a considerably straightacting gay guy, and some of my acquaintances refer to me as a bisexual, which I dont actually dig, since I never got to like girls in the first place.

Bisexuals, by definition, are people who are, or at least have the capacityto be, attracted to people of bothe sexes.

Straights are only those who like the opposite sex.

Gay people like the same sex.

Straight trippers (assuming they actually exist) are straight people who actually jsut wanna explore the other side of the fence, just for the heck of it, with no actual sexual urge to do so. In short, they do gay sex just out of curiosity.

Now, whenever I go online in MiRC or in G4M, I always see these terms flabbergastingly interchanged, and I dunno which is which.

I can sooo remember this time when I was in a bar and someone approached me, asked for my number, started a conversation which was actually entertaining and lasted for like 30 minutes, then blurts out a disclaimer:

“Pero pare ha, wag tayo sanang magkaroon ng di pagkakaintindihan, straight ako.”

“Nge, Ulol.”, I replied.

Then there’s another time when I heard some guy say something like,

“Di ako pumapatol sa gay, sa bi pwede pa.”

Hay, unbelievable.

I guess it all boils down to people’s insecurities about the labels of their respective sexual orientations.

Thing is, I’m way past that.

kung ganoon lang
pinaalam na sana
at nang ‘di nagisip
at nang ‘di na nagparaya

ang buhay ay ‘di pabula
na parang bahay-bahayan
na maaring ipagpaliban
pag pagod o pagal na

ang di ko mawari
ay ang ideya
na sa ganito lamang pupunta
ang telenobela.

It never ceased to amaze me …

1. how some people can say so little with so many words.

2. how some people can continously and regularly murder the english language and still believe in themselves that they’re poet laureates.

3. how some guys can label themselves as cute, hunky, hot, etc in chat and yet be the total opposite.

4. how a guy can openly put up an advertisement saying that they’re looking for serious relationship and/or sex, with the same breath.

5. how someone can have a conscience convoluted enough so as to openly, personally claim that he gets sex for the sole sake of it.

MiRC teaches me a lotta things.

I now have an even better idea of what I don’t wanna be.

P.S. Don’t get me wrong. I am not implying that any of these isn’t ok. I just believe that there may just be some things which are better left unsaid, out of good taste

There’s was this guy who messaged me out of the blue , saying:

“Feeling inglesero! Kung mag ingles ganun ganun lang e kahit asia man lang e `di napuntahan.”

In reaction to that, I have a few snippets:

1. I live in asia. I dont need to go there, because I already am stepping on it.

2. With my speech and writing , it’s not my fault if I’m good at it.

3. Get a life.

That’s all.
Thank You.
Bow.

THAT I FUCKING LOVE TO WRITE FICTION.
SO I FUCKING HAVE THE FUCKING PROPENSITY TO WRITE THINGS
WHICH ARE NOT ABOUT ANY PARTICULAR PERSON.

*ehem ehem*

So please don’t hate me Juan dela Cruz. The world does not revolve around you.

Surfin the net, i came across this page. I quoted it. Can’t help but laugh till i regurgitated my guts. Hehe.

MELANIE MARQUEZ
*During an interview with Inday Badiday.
Inday Badiday: “Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?”

Melanie Marquez: “Alam mo ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to step your foot…ah , forward!”

SNOOKY
*Answering a question from the See-True Panel.
Snooky: “Ano kasi , she is, I mean she was, kasi past tense na nga pala…”

BB. PILIPINAS PILIPINAS CIRCA ’70s
Eddie Mercado: “Of the three titles at stake, which would you want to win?”

Finalist: “I want to win the Bb. Pilipinas Universe because it would be an honor to represent the Philippines in the whole Universe!”

ALMA MORENO
*Wrapping up a conversation with guest Joey Albert during her show Rated A.
Alma: “So Joey, paki ulit muli yung concert mo sa University of Belt.”

DISCORAMA CONTESTANT
Joey : “Ano ang favorite movie mo, Tagalog o English?”

Discorama Girl contestant: “BOT!”

Vic: “So favorite mo talaga si Edgar Mortiz!”

MYRA MANIBOG
Joe Quirino: “Sharon, are you familiar with the current problems we have in the film industry?”

Sharon: “Sorry, Tito Joe, I’m afraid not.”

JQ: “What about you Myra, what can you say?”

Myra Manibog: “Naku Tito Joe, I’m afraid also!”

MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTESTANT #1
Joey de Leon: “How are you?”

Miss Gay Philippines contestant: “How are you too!”

MELANIE MARQUEZ MISS INTERNATIONAL 1978
Eddie Mercado: “Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million dollars, would you also do the same?”

Melanie Marquez: “NO, of course no, because I am proud and contented with my long legged.”
(With this answer, she bagged the crown and eventually won the Miss International in 1978.)

ATOY CO
Joe Cantada : “So Atoy, what are your prospects now, mukhang makakayanan kayo ng Toyota this coming semi-finals round…”

Atoy Co : “Well Joe, the ball is around!”
(Naghanap tuloy ng bola si Joe.)

ARNIE TUADLES
PBA anchor : So sino sa tingin mo Arnie ang may appeal sa iyong artista natin?

Arnie Tuadles (SLN): Si JEN siyempre!

PBA Anchor: Sinong Jen?

Arnie Tuadles: Si JEN SABURIT.

ANA MARGARITA GONZALES
*During Janice de Belen’s debut on Germspesyal.
Kuya Germs: “Happy Birthday Janice. Ana, may sasabihin ka pa?”

Ana Margarita Gonzales (sister ni Kring-Kring): “Ilan taon ka na ngayon, Janice?”

KUYA GERMS
*During Tom Babauta’s guesting on Germspesyal
Kuya Germs: “Do you love Philippines?”

Tom Babauta: “Yes Kuya Germs.”

Kuya Germs: “Have you made love to a Filipina?”

LYDIA DE VEGA
*Interview after winning against PT Usha of India for the Century Dash in 1984 Asian Games.
Reporter: “What happened Lydia, mukhang bumanat ka sa ending.”

Lydia: “Oo nga, mabilis siya, but you know, I ran and I fast!”

MADAM AURING
*During See True’s New Year’s presentation.
Ate Luds: “O sige ano na ang inyong prediction para kay Stella Strada.”

Madam Auring: “Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno!”
(The next day, the headlines read: Stella Strada Commits Suicide!)

MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTESTANT #2
Joey de Leon: “Ano sa tingin mo ang katangian mo na iba sa mga kalaban mo?”

Miss Gay Philippines Contestant: “Unang-una, isa akong tunay na babaeng Pilipina na handang maglingkod sa bayan. Alam ko na ang isang gay na katulad ko ay maaring maging halimbawa sa lipunan. Oo nga kami’y pinagtatawanan subalit may karapatan din naman kaming mabuhay para hindi lamang sa sarili kundi para sa mga taong aming mapaglilingkuran.”

Joey: “So Ano nga ang katangian iba sa iyo?”

Contestant: “Palangiti ako.”

Vic: “Kahit walang tao?”

COCA NICOLAS
Isang panelist sa See True: “Paano mo nabibigyan buhay ang pag-bobold?”

Coca Nicolas: “Pinaiinum ako ni Tito Rey ng FONDADOR.”

MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTESTANT #2
Joey de Leon: “Ano ang masasabi mo sa katayuan ng mga katulad mo sa lipunan, sabi nila…blah, blah, blah…”

Miss Gay Phil Contestant: (panay ang ngiti at halatang kinakabahan…) “Unang una Joey at Vic, Magandang tanghali sa inyong lahat. Pwedeng pakiulit yung tanong?”

SUPER SI REYNA CONTEST
Emcee: “Anong masasabi mo sa death penalty?”

Contestant: A: “Ano po yun toot por toot, eye por eye.”

Emcee: “Paki eksplika nga?”
Contestant: “Ganito po yun: kung pinatay mo ang nanay ko, dapat, patayin ko din ang nanay mo!”

LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST #1
Emcee: “Anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo?”

Contestant: “Maging lalaki po.”

LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST #2

Emcee (to boy consort, inaalaska): “Okay ‘tong suot mo boy, a!”

Boy consort: “T&~G #NA MO!”

MR. WORLD PHILIPPINES CONTEST
Emcee: “What do you think should a man possess to be successful?”

Contestant: “I think, that for a man to be successful, he should be a responsible, because if he should not be a responsible, he will not have a successful. That is all. I thank you.”

EAT BULAGA’S HUSBAND AND WIFE COMPATIBILITY CONTEST
(Ala Newly Weds game show)
Host: “Misis, ano ang nilalagay ni Mister sa kanyang itlog tuwing umaga?”

Misis: “Johnson’s Baby Powder!”
]]> http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/man-this-is-reeealllly-hilarious/feed/ 0 iamnooneatall http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/scaring-the-scary/ http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/scaring-the-scary/#comments Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:00:52 +0000 iamnooneatall http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/?p=33 ]]>

Some people feel the need to shout to emphasize a point. Whenever I am faced with similiar predicaments, I always maintain a calm manner with regard to dealing with the issue. I am an advocate of the hey-let’s-talk-calmly-and-fix-this-skirmish-diplomatically school of thought.

But I suppose this doesn’t work for most people.

You see, some are brought up where my method is so non-existent, so much so that they never learned how to use it, or never experienced it that they don’t know how to deal with it. They sometimes misread my calmness for a sort of apathy on my part. Truth being told, I stay calm because shouting is too telenovela-ish. Not cool.

I have this (non-romantic) friend who I visited just recently. He is a big shot at some transnational bank. He is a tetragenarian. Anyways, his mom was also there, we ate lunch, us three, and then we left his house to accompany him to his facialist (yeah, you heard it right).

While we were in the car, he said that I should’ve said goodbye to his mom before we left, that it is common courtesy. Moreso, he went through this litany of friends who say goodbye to his mom when they leave his house, how his mom’s days are numbered, that we should recognize that and so on…

I told him, sure. I apologised for not knowing better since we don’t really do that from where I came from. I told him that I will do it next time but he doesn’t have to obsess about the issue since I can’t leave his house twice in ten minutes.

By that I meant that if he wants to know if it’ll happen again, i.e. me just leaving w/o saying goodbye, he would have to wait for the next instance where his mom is there and we are about to leave. I pick up things fast, and I am not very fond of being spoon-fed. I told him that I already got his point, and he won’t have to hammer it any further. I just relayed what my common sense was telling me the whole time.

Then he snapped.

He told me that the point he’s making is something that everyone should know, that my parents are young and probably had a different set values. That what he’s teaching me are the values of the old. That the problem with a hyper-intellectual 23-year-old is the inevitable propensity to feel that he has thought about everything, that we don’t listen. 

All while shouting.

It grated to my ears. One thing so petty that warrants attacks on my family and upbringing? I went for the force majeure.

But I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I might just have bruised his ego with the kind of composure I showed. We are all human to begin with. So I maintained my bearing.

I told him,

“Let’s settle it. You told me that I should say g’bye to your mom whenever we’re gonna leave her. I get it. I told you that I got it so that you won’t have to hammer it anymore. By the scheme of things, I suppose you already know that I don’t like people getting redundant. I  am not upset at you, but I just wanna make it very clear, that I got your point, I feel it’s valid, and let’s just move on and talk about something more productive. You know me and how I deal with matters. Yes, you are 42, and I am 23. But if we will anonymously write down what we say on paper and make other people read it so check its plausibility, your level of credibility will be no different from mine. We both took logic in UP. You should know and act better than that.”

And then, Silence.
]]> http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/scaring-the-scary/feed/ 0 iamnooneatall http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/dark/ http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/dark/#comments Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:59:36 +0000 iamnooneatall http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/?p=32 ]]> To float and to drift
seems to be thine destiny
Float, drift, then sink
]]> http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/dark/feed/ 0 iamnooneatall http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/pasensiya-na/ http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/pasensiya-na/#comments Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:58:50 +0000 iamnooneatall http://iamnooneatall.wordpress.com/?p=31 ]]> Haiku lang muna
Maraming gustong sabihi’ng
Hindi lantaran