Shit

sobrang dami
nakakasusulasok
nakababagot
nakaiinis

kung ganoon lang
pinaalam na sana
at nang ‘di nagisip
at nang ‘di na nagparaya

ang buhay ay ‘di pabula
na parang bahay-bahayan
na maaring ipagpaliban
pag pagod o pagal na

ang di ko mawari
ay ang ideya
na sa ganito lamang pupunta
ang telenobela.

Noveau Riche

I have tons of contacts in my Yahoo messenger, most of which I can’t even recognize.

There’s was this guy who messaged me out of the blue , saying:

“Feeling inglesero! Kung mag ingles ganun ganun lang e kahit asia man lang e `di napuntahan.”

In reaction to that, I have a few snippets:

1. I live in asia. I dont need to go there, because I already am stepping on it.

2. With my speech and writing , it’s not my fault if I’m good at it.

3. Get a life.

That’s all.
Thank You.
Bow.

Disclaimer

To avoid further misunderstanding and to lessen the hate messages I get, I would like to formally announce,

THAT I FUCKING LOVE TO WRITE FICTION.
SO I FUCKING HAVE THE FUCKING PROPENSITY TO WRITE THINGS
WHICH ARE NOT ABOUT ANY PARTICULAR PERSON.

*ehem ehem*

So please don’t hate me Juan dela Cruz. The world does not revolve around you.

Pasensiya na

Haiku lang muna
Maraming gustong sabihi’ng
Hindi lantaran

There’s Time When One’s Just Gotta Stop

I have been receiving quite a number of messages from a number of people saying that I should stop blogging. They say that yeah, I may write funny and they have some entertaining value, but my entries sound that they were written by some convoluted mind.

Being the egalitarian me, I acknowledged their existence, their grievance, and reassured them that I am holding on my own. But there’s just some guys who just don’t know when to stop.

I mean, we are all entitled to our own opinion, and we do have the right to try to influence-slash-convince others to align their thought with our views, but theres time when one’s just gotta stop.

Inasmuch as we want our opinions to be respected, we must also try to respect the disposition of others.

Given that, I would like to request the four of you to please stop sending me messages that tell me to not consider committing suicide.

I friggin’ won’t. 

Jeeezus Kuhrreist.

From A Reader

iamnooneatall said

I may be smart in a lot of ways, but emotionally, I might as well be called a moron.

That’s how it always goes. It’s rare that people are gifted with both EQ and brains at the same time. Don’t dwell too much on the fact that everything is all messed up right now.

When I met you on the IRC I knew right away that you were a beautiful person. And I don’t mean beautiful in the conventional sense of the word. Appearances are always the farthest things on my mind. I mean it more in the sense that you possess an interesting soul, one that I won’t be sorry to call an “acquaintance”, or given any luck, probably an “online friend” further down the road. I just had to get that off my chest because you probably misinterpreted my approach. After all, you have a throng of followers. It’s probably hard to distinguish which people are courting you and which ones just want to be your friend. And that’s all that I was trying to be. A friend. (and then sinungitan mo ako… haha).

Fact is, I probably saw in you a little of what I used to be. I’ve been bitter, angst ridden, depressed, suicidal, you name a negative emotion and chances are I’ve felt it over and over again. I’ve been manic-depressive most of my adult life too.

What I’m driving at is that you’re not the only one who goes through such a “penetrating emptiness”. I’m not gonna say that I’d be able to offer you any help regarding what you’re going through. fact is, nobody other than yourself could do that. The people around you who love you (your bf for instance) could only provide you support in what you need to do to overcome your despair. And I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, it’s not going to be an easy process, but with your friends’ help, it would at least be a little bit more doable..

Don’t over-think things too much. People already know you have the brains. It’s probably time for you to exercise your emotional capabilities more. You may think that you don;’t have the luxury of making mistakes, but that’s only because you were brought up in an environment that stressed that fact to you. You’re in a different world now. You have more leeway that you probably realized…

I scanned through what I wrote above, and I realized that it may all seem like gibberish to you. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to respond to this blog. I guess in a way it struck me emotionally. I am very familiar with such emotions, having lived through months and months of it in the past. And for what it’s worth, it was always a good thing for me back then to know that there were people who understood what I was going through…

I’d be including you in my prayers… I hope you feel better soon. And I sure wish this isn’t the end for you blog…

 

 

 

 

***********

Salamat.

 

Pero, uhmm…

 

Prayers? Atheist ako e.

 

Well, it’s the thought that counts anyway.

 

(This post was a personal message for me from one of my readers, whose identity I won’t divulge, in reaction to the “This Pervasive Emptiness” blog entry)