I am no one at all

July 1, 2008

Confusion

Misnomers, misnomers.

I can’t understand how terminologies for “gayness” have become so muddled up.

I for myself am a considerably straightacting gay guy, and some of my acquaintances refer to me as a bisexual, which I dont actually dig, since I never got to like girls in the first place.

Bisexuals, by definition, are people who are, or at least have the capacityto be, attracted to people of bothe sexes.

Straights are only those who like the opposite sex.

Gay people like the same sex.

Straight trippers (assuming they actually exist) are straight people who actually jsut wanna explore the other side of the fence, just for the heck of it, with no actual sexual urge to do so. In short, they do gay sex just out of curiosity.

Now, whenever I go online in MiRC or in G4M, I always see these terms flabbergastingly interchanged, and I dunno which is which.

I can sooo remember this time when I was in a bar and someone approached me, asked for my number, started a conversation which was actually entertaining and lasted for like 30 minutes, then blurts out a disclaimer:

“Pero pare ha, wag tayo sanang magkaroon ng di pagkakaintindihan, straight ako.”

“Nge, Ulol.”, I replied.

Then there’s another time when I heard some guy say something like,

“Di ako pumapatol sa gay, sa bi pwede pa.”

Hay, unbelievable.

I guess it all boils down to people’s insecurities about the labels of their respective sexual orientations.

Thing is, I’m way past that.

Shit

sobrang dami
nakakasusulasok
nakababagot
nakaiinis

kung ganoon lang
pinaalam na sana
at nang ‘di nagisip
at nang ‘di na nagparaya

ang buhay ay ‘di pabula
na parang bahay-bahayan
na maaring ipagpaliban
pag pagod o pagal na

ang di ko mawari
ay ang ideya
na sa ganito lamang pupunta
ang telenobela.

Some Random Thoughts

Filed under: ChatLogs, Rantings — Tags: , , , — iamnooneatall @ 11:07 am

I was chatting over MiRC.

It never ceased to amaze me …

1. how some people can say so little with so many words.

2. how some people can continously and regularly murder the english language and still believe in themselves that they’re poet laureates.

3. how some guys can label themselves as cute, hunky, hot, etc in chat and yet be the total opposite.

4. how a guy can openly put up an advertisement saying that they’re looking for serious relationship and/or sex, with the same breath.

5. how someone can have a conscience convoluted enough so as to openly, personally claim that he gets sex for the sole sake of it.

MiRC teaches me a lotta things.

I now have an even better idea of what I don’t wanna be.

P.S. Don’t get me wrong. I am not implying that any of these isn’t ok. I just believe that there may just be some things which are better left unsaid, out of good taste

Noveau Riche

I have tons of contacts in my Yahoo messenger, most of which I can’t even recognize.

There’s was this guy who messaged me out of the blue , saying:

“Feeling inglesero! Kung mag ingles ganun ganun lang e kahit asia man lang e `di napuntahan.”

In reaction to that, I have a few snippets:

1. I live in asia. I dont need to go there, because I already am stepping on it.

2. With my speech and writing , it’s not my fault if I’m good at it.

3. Get a life.

That’s all.
Thank You.
Bow.

Disclaimer

Filed under: Rantings, Reader's Comments, The Past...My past, depression — Tags: , , — iamnooneatall @ 11:04 am
To avoid further misunderstanding and to lessen the hate messages I get, I would like to formally announce,

THAT I FUCKING LOVE TO WRITE FICTION.
SO I FUCKING HAVE THE FUCKING PROPENSITY TO WRITE THINGS
WHICH ARE NOT ABOUT ANY PARTICULAR PERSON.

*ehem ehem*

So please don’t hate me Juan dela Cruz. The world does not revolve around you.

Scaring the Scary

Some people feel the need to shout to emphasize a point. Whenever I am faced with similiar predicaments, I always maintain a calm manner with regard to dealing with the issue. I am an advocate of the hey-let’s-talk-calmly-and-fix-this-skirmish-diplomatically school of thought.

But I suppose this doesn’t work for most people.

You see, some are brought up where my method is so non-existent, so much so that they never learned how to use it, or never experienced it that they don’t know how to deal with it. They sometimes misread my calmness for a sort of apathy on my part. Truth being told, I stay calm because shouting is too telenovela-ish. Not cool.

I have this (non-romantic) friend who I visited just recently. He is a big shot at some transnational bank. He is a tetragenarian. Anyways, his mom was also there, we ate lunch, us three, and then we left his house to accompany him to his facialist (yeah, you heard it right).

While we were in the car, he said that I should’ve said goodbye to his mom before we left, that it is common courtesy. Moreso, he went through this litany of friends who say goodbye to his mom when they leave his house, how his mom’s days are numbered, that we should recognize that and so on…

I told him, sure. I apologised for not knowing better since we don’t really do that from where I came from. I told him that I will do it next time but he doesn’t have to obsess about the issue since I can’t leave his house twice in ten minutes.

By that I meant that if he wants to know if it’ll happen again, i.e. me just leaving w/o saying goodbye, he would have to wait for the next instance where his mom is there and we are about to leave. I pick up things fast, and I am not very fond of being spoon-fed. I told him that I already got his point, and he won’t have to hammer it any further. I just relayed what my common sense was telling me the whole time.

Then he snapped.

He told me that the point he’s making is something that everyone should know, that my parents are young and probably had a different set values. That what he’s teaching me are the values of the old. That the problem with a hyper-intellectual 23-year-old is the inevitable propensity to feel that he has thought about everything, that we don’t listen. 

All while shouting.

It grated to my ears. One thing so petty that warrants attacks on my family and upbringing? I went for the force majeure.

But I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I might just have bruised his ego with the kind of composure I showed. We are all human to begin with. So I maintained my bearing.

I told him,

“Let’s settle it. You told me that I should say g’bye to your mom whenever we’re gonna leave her. I get it. I told you that I got it so that you won’t have to hammer it anymore. By the scheme of things, I suppose you already know that I don’t like people getting redundant. I  am not upset at you, but I just wanna make it very clear, that I got your point, I feel it’s valid, and let’s just move on and talk about something more productive. You know me and how I deal with matters. Yes, you are 42, and I am 23. But if we will anonymously write down what we say on paper and make other people read it so check its plausibility, your level of credibility will be no different from mine. We both took logic in UP. You should know and act better than that.”

And then, Silence.

Dark

Filed under: Haikus, Lovelife...or the lack of it, Rantings, depression — Tags: — iamnooneatall @ 10:59 am
To float and to drift
seems to be thine destiny
Float, drift, then sink

Pasensiya na

Filed under: Haikus, Rantings, Reader's Comments, Tagalog/Filipino Posts, depression — Tags: — iamnooneatall @ 10:58 am

Haiku lang muna
Maraming gustong sabihi’ng
Hindi lantaran

There’s Time When One’s Just Gotta Stop

Filed under: Rantings, Reader's Comments, depression — Tags: , , , — iamnooneatall @ 10:58 am

I have been receiving quite a number of messages from a number of people saying that I should stop blogging. They say that yeah, I may write funny and they have some entertaining value, but my entries sound that they were written by some convoluted mind.

Being the egalitarian me, I acknowledged their existence, their grievance, and reassured them that I am holding on my own. But there’s just some guys who just don’t know when to stop.

I mean, we are all entitled to our own opinion, and we do have the right to try to influence-slash-convince others to align their thought with our views, but theres time when one’s just gotta stop.

Inasmuch as we want our opinions to be respected, we must also try to respect the disposition of others.

Given that, I would like to request the four of you to please stop sending me messages that tell me to not consider committing suicide.

I friggin’ won’t. 

Jeeezus Kuhrreist.

Panawagan:

Filed under: Lovelife...or the lack of it, Rantings, Tagalog/Filipino Posts, The Past...My past — Tags: — iamnooneatall @ 10:19 am

Im single again, friggin totally single. So please ask me out.

 

Hahaha.

 

(I just have to learn how to laugh at it, besides, it’s as if i got a choice to begin with)

 

*buntong hininga*

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