Surfin the net, i came across this page. I quoted it. Can’t help but laugh till i regurgitated my guts. Hehe.
MELANIE MARQUEZ
*During an interview with Inday Badiday.
Inday Badiday: “Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?”
Melanie Marquez: “Alam mo ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to step your foot…ah , forward!”
SNOOKY
*Answering a question from the See-True Panel.
Snooky: “Ano kasi , she is, I mean she was, kasi past tense na nga pala…”
BB. PILIPINAS PILIPINAS CIRCA ’70s
Eddie Mercado: “Of the three titles at stake, which would you want to win?”
Finalist: “I want to win the Bb. Pilipinas Universe because it would be an honor to represent the Philippines in the whole Universe!”
ALMA MORENO
*Wrapping up a conversation with guest Joey Albert during her show Rated A.
Alma: “So Joey, paki ulit muli yung concert mo sa University of Belt.”
DISCORAMA CONTESTANT
Joey : “Ano ang favorite movie mo, Tagalog o English?”
Discorama Girl contestant: “BOT!”
Vic: “So favorite mo talaga si Edgar Mortiz!”
MYRA MANIBOG
Joe Quirino: “Sharon, are you familiar with the current problems we have in the film industry?”
Sharon: “Sorry, Tito Joe, I’m afraid not.”
JQ: “What about you Myra, what can you say?”
Myra Manibog: “Naku Tito Joe, I’m afraid also!”
MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTESTANT #1
Joey de Leon: “How are you?”
Miss Gay Philippines contestant: “How are you too!”
MELANIE MARQUEZ MISS INTERNATIONAL 1978
Eddie Mercado: “Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million dollars, would you also do the same?”
Melanie Marquez: “NO, of course no, because I am proud and contented with my long legged.”
(With this answer, she bagged the crown and eventually won the Miss International in 1978.)
ATOY CO
Joe Cantada : “So Atoy, what are your prospects now, mukhang makakayanan kayo ng Toyota this coming semi-finals round…”
Atoy Co : “Well Joe, the ball is around!”
(Naghanap tuloy ng bola si Joe.)
ARNIE TUADLES
PBA anchor : So sino sa tingin mo Arnie ang may appeal sa iyong artista natin?
Arnie Tuadles (SLN): Si JEN siyempre!
PBA Anchor: Sinong Jen?
Arnie Tuadles: Si JEN SABURIT.
ANA MARGARITA GONZALES
*During Janice de Belen’s debut on Germspesyal.
Kuya Germs: “Happy Birthday Janice. Ana, may sasabihin ka pa?”
Ana Margarita Gonzales (sister ni Kring-Kring): “Ilan taon ka na ngayon, Janice?”
KUYA GERMS
*During Tom Babauta’s guesting on Germspesyal
Kuya Germs: “Do you love Philippines?”
Tom Babauta: “Yes Kuya Germs.”
Kuya Germs: “Have you made love to a Filipina?”
LYDIA DE VEGA
*Interview after winning against PT Usha of India for the Century Dash in 1984 Asian Games.
Reporter: “What happened Lydia, mukhang bumanat ka sa ending.”
Lydia: “Oo nga, mabilis siya, but you know, I ran and I fast!”
MADAM AURING
*During See True’s New Year’s presentation.
Ate Luds: “O sige ano na ang inyong prediction para kay Stella Strada.”
Madam Auring: “Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno!”
(The next day, the headlines read: Stella Strada Commits Suicide!)
MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTESTANT #2
Joey de Leon: “Ano sa tingin mo ang katangian mo na iba sa mga kalaban mo?”
Miss Gay Philippines Contestant: “Unang-una, isa akong tunay na babaeng Pilipina na handang maglingkod sa bayan. Alam ko na ang isang gay na katulad ko ay maaring maging halimbawa sa lipunan. Oo nga kami’y pinagtatawanan subalit may karapatan din naman kaming mabuhay para hindi lamang sa sarili kundi para sa mga taong aming mapaglilingkuran.”
Joey: “So Ano nga ang katangian iba sa iyo?”
Contestant: “Palangiti ako.”
Vic: “Kahit walang tao?”
COCA NICOLAS
Isang panelist sa See True: “Paano mo nabibigyan buhay ang pag-bobold?”
Coca Nicolas: “Pinaiinum ako ni Tito Rey ng FONDADOR.”
MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTESTANT #2
Joey de Leon: “Ano ang masasabi mo sa katayuan ng mga katulad mo sa lipunan, sabi nila…blah, blah, blah…”
Miss Gay Phil Contestant: (panay ang ngiti at halatang kinakabahan…) “Unang una Joey at Vic, Magandang tanghali sa inyong lahat. Pwedeng pakiulit yung tanong?”
SUPER SI REYNA CONTEST
Emcee: “Anong masasabi mo sa death penalty?”
Contestant: A: “Ano po yun toot por toot, eye por eye.”
Emcee: “Paki eksplika nga?”
Contestant: “Ganito po yun: kung pinatay mo ang nanay ko, dapat, patayin ko din ang nanay mo!”
LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST #1
Emcee: “Anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo?”
Contestant: “Maging lalaki po.”
LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST #2
Emcee (to boy consort, inaalaska): “Okay ‘tong suot mo boy, a!”
Boy consort: “T&~G #NA MO!”
MR. WORLD PHILIPPINES CONTEST
Emcee: “What do you think should a man possess to be successful?”
Contestant: “I think, that for a man to be successful, he should be a responsible, because if he should not be a responsible, he will not have a successful. That is all. I thank you.”
EAT BULAGA’S HUSBAND AND WIFE COMPATIBILITY CONTEST
(Ala Newly Weds game show)
Host: “Misis, ano ang nilalagay ni Mister sa kanyang itlog tuwing umaga?”
Misis: “Johnson’s Baby Powder!”
Shit
sobrang dami
nakakasusulasok
nakababagot
nakaiinis
kung ganoon lang
pinaalam na sana
at nang ‘di nagisip
at nang ‘di na nagparaya
ang buhay ay ‘di pabula
na parang bahay-bahayan
na maaring ipagpaliban
pag pagod o pagal na
ang di ko mawari
ay ang ideya
na sa ganito lamang pupunta
ang telenobela.